In Defence of the ‘Christmas Letter’

Oh dear, the festive ‘round robin’ has taken a real beating from Lynne Truss’s wit and irony this week on BBC Radio 4. You may have heard. In response, I’d better watch my ‘p’s and ‘q’s. Was that correctly punctuated, Lynne?

She made me smile and a small part of me feels some sympathy with her.  Yes, they can be full of accounts of family achievements and no, they do not really take account of the individual recipient’s feelings as much as they should.  If the lucky person receiving a Christmas letter has had a bad year, then of course the last thing they want to hear is how wonderful life is – I mean, truly perfect, children, family, house, health, finances, everything in top-notch order – for someone else.

However, I did send my ‘Christmas letter’ to many people – not all, I must stress – on my Christmas card list. There, I’ve said it. I’ve confessed.  I am that self-satisfied, supercilious, self-important person that apparently all round robin senders are – according to the wonderful (isn’t she just perfect?) Lynne Truss.

So, in defence of my despicable and persistently annual missive I would just like to say:

I was on the brink of going one better, sending out a note to inform all and sundry that this would be our last year for sending Christmas cards, as they do seem very not on-trend amongst trendy people, who would never use the word ‘trendy’ it’s so last century. I did not actually do this; so my point scarcely lends any weight to this debate but, you see, it made me think – always dangerous at this time of year. Some people (mentioning no names) would forget such a note by Christmas 2013 and would assume we had died. Then our children would doubtless get endless phone calls, texts, emails and letters enquiring about our deaths. How could we be such a burden to our children before our actual demise?

There are certainly people whom we have not seen in, possibly, 50 or 60 years, to whom I annually send best wishes and festive goodwill. Perhaps my husband knows who his 3rd cousins twice removed are (What is this? http://chaplinspeaks.hubpages.com/hub/What-Is-a-Second-Cousin-Twice-Removed-Chart-Explains-All  ).  I am exaggerating but I am not entirely sure what faces belong to which names, even though it behoves me, and always has done, to send them a card. Doubtless they would be quite upset if they did not get a card from us after all these decades. I do not send these distant people a letter.

At the other end of the spectrum there are friends whom we quite possibly saw last week, or a few times during the year. They do not need a letter to update them on the progress of our family.

There is a mass of folk in between though, who do not use Facebook, Twitter or even email that much.  They would scoff at the word ‘blog’. Yes, such people (perfectly nice and normal) exist and I do send them a letter because it is a good way to keep in touch. It is within the bounds of possibility that we may one day meet, call them or visit them when up north or they may drop in to see us if they are down south. Thanks to our yearly exchange of news we would not have to start from scratch with birth of children or grandchildren.

I confess I would not do well if quizzed on the content of Christmas letters past, received from others. You see, we all adopt the manner of skimming – we are quick to spot words like ‘heart attack’, ‘wedding’ , ‘divorce’ or ‘grandchild’. Other things like, ‘holidays … blah … blah … blah …’ we may read but would probably not commit to memory unless we could relate to it or it provided useful information for our next planned trip.

Do our adult children exchange Christmas cards? Probably not. They keep in touch with friends much more efficiently than we ever did at their age, with the wonder of electronics. But we old die-hards like to cling on to the old ways, I suppose. There is a childish delight in hearing the slap of envelopes is they plop onto the hall floor. My husband and I still try to be first to pick them up and have the pleasure of opening them. If there is a letter inside, we are usually pleased – unless it really is one of those that go on and on and on … then I am with Lynne Truss all the way. Too much information gives round robins a bad name.

I tend not to mention too many negatives in my Christmas letter – because, quite frankly, who wants to hear about problems and failures at Christmas? If that means it comes across as smug or just too unbearably cheerful, then I make no apologies.

Merry Christmas – I shall now shut up until next year – but please, do let me have your thoughts. Do you, or don’t you?

My book launch 'speech'

I have had some kind of cold-flu-virus thing that has left me with a very flaky voice. People who know me well know that I am prone to coughing fits, which would make speaking tonight extremely risky! To cancel would have been difficult and disappointing so I decided to go ahead with this plan B in mind. Thank you and many apologies for not being able to speak to you myself. I have handed my notes to the very lovely John Hockley who is West Surrey Rural Communities Officer, has worked with Gypsies and Travellers for around 27 years – and has already read the book!

“Thank you so much for coming. If I had to define my kind of personal paradise, I think some key elements are here tonight – to be surrounded by books and so many people I recognise and a glass of wine! Welcome to everyone, those I know and a few I don’t. Family, friends, neighbours, people from the Travelling community, writers, members of the National Women’s Register (NWR), U3A, the allotment(!), Rushmoor Writers and the novel group, Society of Authors and Windsor Bookswap – and various other local people. Also some Twitter folk I’ve never met before but feel I know quite well! more about some of you later, maybe even mentioning names – this is a ‘hook’ to keep your attention … (dot dot dot !)

As a very young child I would put my hands over my eyes to hide, believing this rendered me invisible. Not that unusual perhaps – even one of our English Setters does the same thing with her paws! But then as a young schoolchild, the day the school photographer was due to arrive I would rush away to hide behind the coats in the cloakroom. Less normal perhaps!! I was very shy. My point is that many writers – and I heard one say the same thing quite recently – take to writing because they feel at an early age that they can be more creative and imaginative on paper than vocally. The irony of this is that once you produce a book, you find yourself constantly having to stand up in front a sea of faces to talk about it!! But tonight makes that an absolute pleasure – except I find myself unable to actually speak! I am so sorry about that.

A quick word about the book then!
Most of you know that my first book, Gypsies Stop tHere, as the title suggests, is something to do with Gypsies stopping, not being allowed to stop and so forth. I think most of you here have read it but if not, you can always read No Gypsies Served first. No problem – they standalone although they are connected. But you are allowed to buy a signed copy of Gypsies Stop tHere tonight as well!
No Gypsies Served, as its title suggests, goes back in time, events of the past throwing light on the present. It takes in also the relationship between Romany or English Gypsies and Irish Travellers, looking at this in historical context – recent history. It tries to answer some bothersome questions. For example: Why is there a mismatch in peoples’ minds between the old traditional romantic picture of a Gypsy in his wagon etc, and the modern image many people have? And how come that that second perception is so far removed from the Gypsies and Travellers I meet at events and in their own homes? Why would most Gypsies and Travellers choose not to live in a house, if they had that choice? Not going to say too much about it now – this is no time for a lecture! I hope the book helps, through entertaining storytelling, to answer questions such as these and more.

Now for the Oscar Bafta bit … the many thank-yous.

Special thanks to: Waterstone’s for making this wonderful gathering possible, for providing and organising when I know they are so short of time. Special thanks to Jan Russell.
Basil Burton, a Romany Gypsy, who at the age of 88 works tirelessly in support of his people and has driven up from deepest Dorset to be here this evening. I do appreciate this. He has helped me along the way checking over what I have written and, fortunately for me, has a very good memory of times gone by!
Other people who helped me in my research – so many not here this evening, eg Prof Thomas Acton, Dr John Coxhead and many other people – you can see who they are, and their comments, in the front of the book and in this leaflet.
John Hockley is here! West Surrey Rural Communities Officer who has worked with the Gypsy and Traveller community for over 25 years. Thank you John, also Ann Wilson and Charmaine Valler from Surrey Community Action, for their help.
My daughter Erica, who by day is a wallpaper designer and producer, but under cover of darkness found time to design both lovely, deceptively simple, covers. You can tell she actually read the books beforehand! I get many complimentary comments about the covers. They are, so they say, all about genre – to help readers gauge what they are going to get. So that it does what it ‘says on the can’. So this was not easy, for my books do not slip easily into a genre – say, romantic fiction, mystery-crime, historical, typical village-type story – yet they contain elements of all of these.
My husband for his support, not least of which is financial since – contrary to popular belief, very few published authors actually make a half-decent living from it. As most people know, writing novels is my retirement project and something that I’ve actually wanted to do from a very young age. Thanks to Steve also for his help with proof-reading and, though I think he still wonders what on earth I am doing up in my study for so many hours; for his regular if not constant reminders to turn off the Internet to save the planet. Probably not easy living with someone writing a novel who, by definition, tends to drift off into another world for long periods of time!
My local writer and reader friends, many of whom are here tonight – for their support by way of both encouragement and criticism, absolutely invaluable prior to publication. Rushmoor Writers and its offshoot the novel group, and my special writer friends. They know who they are!

Thought of changing my surname to ‘Awake Early’ - Awakerly – it has an alarmingly alert ring to it! but would have the added advantage of putting it at the top end of the alphabet on the shop and library bookshelves. With over 100,000 new titles being published every year in the UK alone, visibility on these shelves is a hard-won privilege!

So if you do enjoy No Gypsies Served then please don’t keep this to yourself. Keep the book to yourself, of course, but not your liking of it! Writers and publishers have to persuade other branches of Waterstone’s to stock their books. It does not happen automatically. So tonight with your help I hope we can give a healthy kick-start to make this happen. But if you could tell that cousin in Dundee, or old school-friend in Cornwall, (it doesn’t have to be that specific!! but you get the gist) friends, colleagues – really all booklovers and readers you can think of – well, you have no idea how helpful this would be. You cannot overestimate the value of good old word of mouth – we can spread awareness and hopefully get more books into more shops around the country. Take a couple of the leaflets with you. We all love to browse and pick a book. Well, bookshops do need our continuing support – what with the competition of Amazon and the rapid rise of e-books. Remember the words of that song ‘you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.’ (not that Waterstone’s in Camberley is going anywhere!!) Libraries too – it helps if you and your friends ask for books in libraries, then they will order them in.

By the way, each book purchased comes with a most desirable and virtually indestructible bookmark (may not be dishwasher proof).

I am so grateful for your support and very touched that so many of you are here. Looking at this crowd here perhaps it’s as well that not everyone could come …!! You don’t look like a shy lot, but please if you haven’t spoken to the person next to you just ask them what their connection is with this evening and you may hear something interesting! Thank you again for coming and to wish it luck may I raise a toast to No Gypsies Served and all who sail with her!!”

Tip-top Top Tips for Self-Publishing

People have different reasons for self-publishing. This can range from having a few digital copies printed at low outlay to give to family and friends; to going the whole hog, pulling out all the marketing stops to justify a larger traditional print run. The latter brings down the unit cost substantially but then you have a liability on your hands. All those books!

I decided to self-publish and once I’d made the decision I felt as if a dead weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was positive because people were saying good things about my book. This helps.

Tip 1
Be clear about your end objective; it will influence decisions and choices you make in the process.
Tip 2
Get as much feedback as possible. It enables you to revise confidently.
Persuade people, whose opinion you value, to comment on your mss before it goes to print. These good people are in effect your proof-reader and editor, and you, the author, are your own agent and publisher. But I would never have gone ahead without heeding critiques from many people before Gypsies Stop tHere went to print. Every author probably thinks their book is wonderful on so many levels; I couldn’t just trust my own biased judgement. I was happy with it but I needed to be sure that others were too. Writing circles are invaluable for getting honest feedback.
Some self-published books let themselves down, so it is said; probably due to forging ahead regardless of others’ opinions.
Tip 3
Examine what skills you can utilise. Are you good enough at word-processing and layout to provide printer-ready mss? to not stand out like a sore thumb? Are you familiar with printing terms and confident enough to be able to sign off that final proof or pdf – the last time you see your work until it is in book form? Can you design your book cover or will you need to pay for this artwork? Could you set up a website as an online shop?
Tip 4
An adjunct of this is to don your business hat because whatever you cannot do yourself you may need to pay for. Keep account of costs and your profit margin. It is so easy to keep paying out for things you think might help your book along and if you are not quite mean with yourself, costs will spiral – upwards!
Tip 5
For the mechanics: ISBN numbers, barcode, marketing methods, information on distributors and wholesalers, registering with Nielsen Book Data, and other essential tasks, then it is a good idea to get a couple of step-by-step books on the subject. There are many available.

With two previous novels I ventured down the disheartening and time-consuming agent-and-publisher trail. If you are an unknown, there is little alternative to submitting letters with required enclosures. I was slowly working my way through the Writers and Artists Year Book! It demanded stamina and incurred cost. Every rejection hurt! Once I had finished writing Gypsies Stop tHere, already feeling almost bereaved - missing my characters and their world, as you do – I decided to grasp the proverbial nettle.

I have had a wonderful time with book signings in shops and at events; giving talks; setting up a website; meeting so many fascinating, open-minded people and, of course, having fun with Twitter! Looking forward to the next one soon.

If anyone wants to quote these tips then that’s fine but please credit me! Thanks.
© Miriam Wakerly